Friday, March 31, 2017

Upsetting news

I had an exam last week with a blood test that confirmed that, just like my mother, I was diagnosed with premature menopause.
It's not that big of a deal. There is a vitamin I have to take now. But it's very sad for me. I feel like I'm being punished.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Punishment by bladder

I don't know what's wrong with me.
I have to go to the bathroom at least 20 times after I decide to go to bed at night.  I took an at home UTI test, and it came back negative.
It's not like this all day, just at night.  Just as I am drifting off, I feel the urge.  Then I go, and it's like two drops of pee.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Life in perspective

I've been going every morning for 2 hours to my under-the-table client from care dot com. I get her ready and get her out of bed into the motorized wheelchair. Then I make her breakfast.
Her daughter, son in law, and grandkids came from Chicago. Her husband was going to take them to the rodeo. This was on one of her dialysis days, so I was helping the dialysis guy get get hooked up in bed. She was crying about the rodeo. There is literally no way she can go. I highly doubt she can get into a car. Her husband said, "Do you want me to not go?" And she was like no, go, just go. She's not even that old, probably younger than my mom. I just hope it made her happy to see the grandkids.

Monday, March 20, 2017

What I want in a new place to live

Annalise and I lived in a one bedroom apartment for 6 and a half years. Now we live with my parents. I am already planning on what I want for my next home. I want 4 bedrooms. My reasons for this are because Annalise is older now, and she needs her own room. I have also changed my mind about adopting.  I wasn't going to do it when I realized how brutal the process was. But since I'm most likely taking after my mom, who was completely done with menopause by age 40 or 41, and everyone gets their panties in a bunch when I am dating, I'll probably not have anymore children. I'm getting hot flashes already. They aren't fun. I always joke that if I get married again, I'll probably get shot standing at the altar. I joke, but it's a legit fear. I wouldn't be able to enjoy taking my vows. I'd be looking out the side of my eye- that's how upset people get when I have a man in my life. 20 years I've dealt with it. I had my first boyfriend at age 18, and I'm 38 now. When it comes to adoption, yes it's brutal, but I've been through brutality before. One child was not enough for me. 
My other reason is that when my parents are elderly (well they are elderly, but I mean like more elderly), I want them living with me. Whichever one dies first, I'm insisting that the remaining one live with me. Having cared for elderly in their homes, the ones who have already lost their spouse do way worse if they live alone than if they live with family or in a facility. 

I want all IKEA furniture, and I'm going to pay a friend to assemble it all for me. Annalise's room will have a bunk bed with drawers. Adopted children's room will have a bunk with a pull out trundle. My mom will have a big comfy bed, preferably a memory foam mattress. I don't care much about what kind of bed I sleep on. 

I also want a book case full of rocks. I know that sounds weird, but I'm saving up for all of this, and for the Houston gen and mineral show in November. 

Sunday, March 19, 2017

I guess I should be in jail

I have walked my daughter to school many times:

Spring Equinox

The Spring Equinox is tomorrow, March 20th. I have always loved this holiday.  If you've ever wondered what bunnies and eggs have to do with Easter, it's because they were symbols of fertility for the vernal equinox celebrations before Christianity.  People complain about bunnies and eggs every year, but still use them.  So much comes from our pagan roots, much more than you realize.  

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Almost hit

Today, some jerk ran a red light and missed me by, seriously, inches.  I was shaking afterwards.
When I told my dad, he said I should have let him hit me so I could sue and get a ton of money.  Hello?  I don't want to die, either.  He almost was going to T-Bone me.  I wonder if he was drunk or texting.  Jerk!

Double standard.

I just wanted to say this:

It was totally fine for my ex husband to marry a woman who already had two kids. Now I have a boyfriend with two kids and people have a problem with that. I wish he was my husband, and I wash K&R were my kids. I'm almost 39. Am I supposed to end up with the 40 year old virgin? Or a young man who could be my son, age wise?

Karl raises his two kids all by himself. Their mother was only granted one 15 minute
Phone call per week by the court. She has not called in 6 months. Yet I had someone tell me I should talk to her about what their marriage was like and what kind of husband he was. Oh, right!  My daughter's step mom would NEVER have me telling her anything negative about my ex, but I'm expected to listen to a deadbeat mother?

It's such a double standard.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Uber Eats Tips (and postmates)

So there are people criticizing Uber.  My cousin is one of them.  They want to be considered employees and not independent contractors.  I disagree with this.  If we become employees, then all we'll make is minimum wage.  Our hours will also be dictated, and that messes up the opportunity for extra money for those of us who have regular jobs.  No other job lets you just clock in and out whenever you want.  One guy said because of becoming an Uber driver, he is out $90,000.  What?  What did he do, by four brand new cars?  One woman said you have to buy a new car every two years.  No, you don't.  Who does that?  I bought my car from my mechanic and paid cash for it cheap.  He rebuilt the transmission on it.  If I wear it out, I wear it out and I'll go get another one from him.  And I'll take Uber in the mean time!
People who do postmates also claim that they drive around while waiting for dispatches.  Don't do that!  Park somewhere and chill in the car until you get dispatched.  If you drive around while not on a delivery, you are wasting gas.  Some people are stupid.  I don't want these opportunities to be lost.  They are the reason I was able to bring my student loans from $26K (when I graduated in 2013) to $9999 last month.  I'm super lucky to only have four digits.  Lot of ppl in deep doo doo over student loans.  Our paernts' generation sold us a lie.  I'm also able to give my mom new carpeting in the whole house for her 72nd birthday in May.  The carpet here is nasty.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

The Office CPR

This was us yesterday.  At least I don't have to go through that for two more years.  I always start CPR class with Michael Jackson's "Annie are you OK" stuck in my head and leave with "Stayin Alive" stuck in my head.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Volunteering for kids

At an animal shelter here locally, kids can volunteer as long as they have a parent volunteering with them. So I signed Annalise up to be a cat socializing volunteer. My daughter is very passionate about cats, and she will be 10 in June. It's very important to me that she has access to experience outside of schooling in the areas she's interested in. I think parents of my generation know first hand that it's not educatio that gets you anywhere, it's experience. Annalise is so excited, and so am I. I just hope our cats don't get jealous when they smell the shelter cats on us!

Friday, March 3, 2017

AncestryDNA should be more accessible

I've gotten hooked into the YouTube videos of people who had the ancestry DNA test done and reading their results. Many people have really blown me away with what they have found. It not only breaks down your ancestry, but it gives you profiles of people you are genetically related to. . Here are some examples:

An African American woman received her results on her 49th birthday, and learned that most of her African ancestry came from Cameroon/Congo. She said it was the best birthday present, to have that identity instead of just being broadly African. She was crying, and I cried with her.

A young woman was the result of rape and found her biological paternal family, even though they denied that he had raped her mother. (DNA doesn't lie).

A young man had the test done with his whole family, and it was confirmed that his grandmother had been switched at birth. Great-grandmother had always said that she tried to tell the hospital that they gave her the wrong baby, but they didn't listen. His grandmother tested as not biologically related to her siblings. She was already elderly when this was confirmed, and great grandma had already passed away.

A woman said that her mother was adopted, and that the adoption was extremely closed and secretive. She was able to discover her ethnic background (mostly British and Scandinavian) and found some maternal biological relatives.

A TON of people, both black and white, said they always thought they had some Native American ancestry, but all of them tested with 0% Native American. I guess everyone wants to be one!

A husband and wife both too know the test and found out that they are fourth cousins. Oops!!!  Luckily, it's distant enough to not be a big deal.

Depression- 3 and a half years

I've really been struggling with depression since childhood, but it was never as bad as it has been since I graduated with my Bachelor's degree in August of 2013.

It's about time I realized that- that college was the cause of this downward spiral, and that since then I've kind of just been freefalling with no direction.  

It's a start to finally getting some normalcy back and getting back up after realizing that life after finishing college is not at all what "they" say it is.