Thursday, December 31, 2015

2016

Bow down with a humble heart and commit to life afresh and anew. Happy New Year. 

Monday, December 28, 2015

Tourette's Research

My latest Tourette's awareness video.  I am very passionate about the brain bank and how it can help our future generations- perhaps even my own descendants.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Accomplishments lately

I made another Tourette's awareness video on YouTube. I am having trouble embedding it, so here is the link:
http://youtu.be/FY98ivYamIc

Vegan I and bangs look good on me!

I set up a nice alter for the winter solstice. Usually, it falls on 12/21, but this year it is on 12/22. Annalise insisted on putting our sunflower candles on it, even though those are for the summer solstice. Anyway, it's the summer solstice in Australia, so why not.

I also made vegan sugar cookies with vegetable oil and maple syrup as the butter substitute and tofu as the egg substitute. They are awesome.

Friday, December 18, 2015

My Name Day

Name Days are a huge deal with Greeks.  It's a huge deal with others in the Eastern Orthodox church: Russians, Serbs, Middle Eastern Christians, Pan-American Orthodox Christians, and Ethiopians.  But,  it's biggest deal of all to Greeks.  Your name day is the feast day of the Saint you were named for. 
My parents named me of St. Dionysius of Zakynthos.

My maternal grandparents were born on this island.  My Greek name is officially Dionysia.  Dionysios is supposed to mean Daniel (hence my name being the feminine of Daniel), but there are other English choices like Dennis or Denise, and Diane. 

My parents told me that three days before I was born, they still didn't know if they'd name me Danielle, Christina, or Maria.  But three days before I arrived, they both woke up at the same time from very similar dreams about St. D. 

They believed he spoke to them and that he was blessing me.  My name was decided.  They still didn't know if  I was a boy or girl, so it was either Daniel or Danielle.  I think my mom's doctor knew, because I was born face up, and when it was just my head out, she told my parents, "Pretty little face, it must be a girl."

Two years later, my parents were in Tijuana My mom was pushing me along in the stroller when an old beggar man coming from the other direction gazed at me and yelled, "Dionysia!!!"

My mom looked quickly over her shoulder, and he was gone. She believed it was a vision of St.D.
She asked my father, "How did he know her name?"

Over the years, I tried to connect with this saint on a deeper level.  I always got nothing.  When I was a child, the icon of him in my room scared the B'Jesus out of me, and I always held my hand up to my face when passing it. 

In my adult years, I read about his life, and nothing about it resonated.  He was an ascetic monastic that didn't do much good with his life.  He forgave a man that killed his brother, but millions have done that throughout the ages and did not go down in history for it. 

As my nameday approached, I started to do some inner shadow work about my childhood fears of this saint, why my parents had that dream, why the beggar in Tijuana, and why I don't resonate with St. D.  Maybe it's because I am no longer practicing my parents' denomination.

I realized how I feel- I feel that anyone's religion is true- true to them practicing it, whether for good or evil.  Perhaps my soul feels the same way, and in the before-life (which I belive in) when I was starting to get ready to come in, I gave my parents that dream, because I knew it would resonate the most, spiritually, with them.  As for the old man in Tijuana who recognized me when I was two- I believe in reincarnation as well, and he may have known me before.  Sometimes elderly people are more spiritually in tuned when they are close to death. 

These are just my conclusions from doing Shadow work.  I hope it makes sense.  My name day for St. D was 12/17.  My mom gave me a $50 Kroger gift card.  (Greeks give gifts on namedays, too)

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Another Adele meme


He still doesn't want to talk to you stalking ass!  

Many people still calling Adele names, like "stalker" for still writing songs for the same old ex-boyfriend. 

Is she ashamed of her relationship like I am when people judge me for my relationships, or is she laughing all the way to the bank?

I'd think the latter. Scalpers jumped on her nationwide tour tickets and are selling g them for up to five figures. 

Our society taunts women loving men, so then why are we so eager to listen to Adele's music?

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Vegan Fail

Right before Thanksgiving, I decided to go vegan.  My mom semi-jokingly said she'd buy me a "tofurkey" (Tofu shaped like a turkey), and I said that's ok.  I won't stick to it at Thanksgiving dinner, but after that I will.
The non-dairy milks and ice creams are awesome.  But the cheese substitutes are another story.  The only cheese substitute I like is nutritional yeast.  I like to throw it over stuff like pasta or sauteed veggies.  It really does taste like cheese, it semi-melts when hot, and it's fortified with B-Complex which is good for depression.
I'd post on facebook whenever I succeeded at a vegan recipe, and the only two who'd comment were a male cousin and a male coworker who totally made fun of me.  I didn't care.  I even bought a carton of pumpkin spice "almond nog" and posted a picture comment of it among the hater comments from both guys.
Then I realized that I was always hungry, always eating, and gained like 5 pounds.  That always happens when I try to adopt some hippy ass diet.  Either that, or I get sick.  The final decision to give up was made when I attempted a pizza with one of the cheese substitutes from Whole Foods.  When I was grating the cheese, it was jiggling.  I'm sorry, but cheese isn't supposed to jiggle.  Then, it didn't melt.  I'm not even going to say what it did to my stomach.  Annalise was smarter than me, because she did not eat it.  She said, "I think something it wrong with this pizza."
The next day, I saw a post about a vegan alternative to the Terducken.  A turducken is a duck stuffed into a chicken, stuffed into a turkey.  I don't know if this video was a joke or not, because I did not have sound.  It was called a "Tofucken", as a spoof of the tofurkey and of course, the F word.  I suppose anyone can stuff something into a block of tofu and then stuff that tofu into something else and call it tofucken.
Nonetheless, I was done.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

My 2016 gift to myself



I ordered this planner/ goals workbook by Leonie Dawson for New Years. It came today, and I love it. It came with a wall calendar, pictured above. I'm going to need some different color sharpies. If you want one, go to leoniedawson.com

Saturday, December 5, 2015

The Greeks Who Pray to Zeus





I love this documentary about pagans in Greece.  My grandparents were born in Greece.  You don't need sound to watch it, because there are subtitles.  I feel more comfortable sharing pagan things on my blog since I came out of the "pagan closet".  Every person in the world has pagan roots, and these are the indigenous roots of my own culture. 

The people portrayed here are not "neopagans".  They are "reconstructionists".  The difference is that reconstructionist want to go back and do things exactly how they were done in antiquity.  Neopagans adapt the religion to modern times. 

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Love/hate relationship with a song.

Adele's latest song is called "Hello". When it first came out, I was like, oh gods. She has been writing songs about the same old boyfriend for years. Is she still not over it?  But then, when I ended the relationship with the online guy, I started to really like that song. I do still laugh at some of the mems about it. Here are my favorites :

Bec

Because Lionel Richie had a song of the same title in the 80s. Because of the lyrics, "hello from the other side". And because of the lyrics " I must have called a thousand times". 

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Want to see this movie!







A new movie about Mother Theresa is coming out in two days, and I want to see it so badly! It looks a lot like it captures her depression and compassion fatigue that comes with the work she did.

I also know what it's like to insist on a calling and have a religious superior try and deny that to me!

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

My inspirational pagan pictures

















It's me, Danielle!





I came out of the pagan closet in this video.  Since my mind still reverts to Christianity a lot, some people call that "Christopagan". 

Then, I rant at the end.  I can't verbally talk into a machine without rambling. 

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

They're still mad!


I ended.the relationship with my online boyfriend quite a few days ago, and some people in my life just won't let it go
There was a video of a man who lost his wife in the Paris terror attacks and a video of him talking about not hating the terrorists went viral. I merely said, "he's a good looking guy.". My mom said very sarcastically, " what, are you going to Paris to hook up with him?"
Omg!  What a terrible thing to say. Does she really think I'm that evil?  I'm trying to let it go. 

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Update

Lots of things are going better.  My dad is a lot better.  He is a lot happier since his toe amputation, and it's not just because of the pain pills like I originally thought. I think that he's really not having any more pain even without the pills.  You can't even tell he lost a toe, because the other ones pushed together and there's no space. 
My upper respiratory infection is totally gone and all liver function tests came back normal, so I no longer let my mind go to the words "liver cancer". 
I took a part time job caring for elderly in their homes.   I am still doing postmates as well and the ultimate goal is to find a balance between both.  Postmates is good money but not steady.  With both, I have the blessing of getting a big check every two weeks and several small deposits daily. 
Annalise wants to do chores for money, and boy is that nice!  She is very eager and takes a load off of me. 
My  friend and her husband and 8 kids found a nice house to rent and move into on December 1.  It has three bedrooms and is on 5 acres.  I'm kind of jealous!  But happy, since I felt powerless to help her. 

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Beautiful Mind- edited to add

video
In this video, you'll see a man playing the piano and singing a beautiful song.  This man and I met online and had a brief online relationship.  We talked on the phone for hours on end at night every night.  One of the most amazing things that he did for me was walk me through the forgiveness process for a number of people in my past.  He had amazing insight about a lot of things.  The day after this conversation happened, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted.  I think I was falling in love.  We made plans to meet at a summer gathering he frequents.
Then, I started telling people about him.  The three closest people to me in the world- my mother and my two cousins- all told me that the relationship was dangerous because we met online.  One of my cousins and my mom stated they got a "bad vibe" from his picture.  All three of them harshly warned me not to ever meet him or even associate with him.  They said if I got into a relationship, it would be bad for Annalise.  Then they all said they didn't want me to get hurt.
Mind you, none of them knew him whatsoever.  They were basing their hunches on one picture and the words "met online."
He didn't hurt me, but all three of them did by telling me he would hurt me.  I ended the relationship the next morning, but did not tell him about my family.  I simply said it was not good for me to move too fast.
I am angry at my family, and I am feeling isolated because I don't want to talk to any of them.  That anger and unforgiveness is back.
What I really don't think is fair is that my ex-husband and his current wife met online, and no one ever told him these things.  No one told him it would be bad for our daughter, or dangerous.  His wife is cross-eyed, and no one told him that she "just didn't look right".  I don't mean to be mean, but I am angry and resentful.  My ex-husband also met quite a few other women online and dated them in between me and his current wife.  I think it's a double standard.  Single moms/women are shamed for dating, but men/single dads get a free pass.
A lot of people meet online and hit it off.  It is so common these days.  In fact, what other way is there to meet people anymore?  The bar?  I don't think so.
I have not felt like myself since this happened.  I didn't expect someone to come into my life like this.  It really did happen when I least expected it.  I used to think that maybe the pressure not to be in a relationship or get married was due to my young age, but now I am 37.  I must face that it will always be considered wrong to be with someone.  Not that I'd even want to after getting a taste of the real thing.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

I'm a Wayseer





I have been talking to this guy online and on the phone.  After a two hour phone conversation last night, he sent me the link to this video.  I reminded him of a "wayseer".  I absolutely love this video and watched it over ten times.  And, it feels very refreshing to connect with a member of the opposite sex in a way I don't think I ever have. 

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Update on Dad

Dad had his toe successfully amputated on Thursday and came home Friday. They did not give him general anesthesia during the surgery. They just put him half-out. I went to see him afterwards, and he seemed like he was on cloud nine. He was ecstatic after the surgery. I wonder what he was on!  He remained in this state the next day. I stayed with him Saturday while my mom went to work. He was massively exaggerating the pain while my mom was there, but as soon as she left, he was completely fine. Diabetes is automatically scary for me. I could get it, because he has it. He is 73 and has had it for about 33 years. I remember when he was diagnosed. I was about 3 or 4 and thought he would die. I thought that's what "die"abeted meant. I'm going to go back today to sit with him while mom itls at work, and tomorrow, I think he will be fine on his own.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Suits

I made a decision yesterday that was kind of hard. I donated my suits to an organization that helps needy women who need them for job interviews. I wore these suits whenever I testified in court as a child advocate and then a cps worker. This is a closed chapter of my life. If I ever need a suit again, I'm going to save up for a custom one with a jacket, pants and skirt to match. Or, I'll see a seamstress. I just didn't like looking at them in my closet and being reminded of 17 years of my life that broke my soul.