Friday, January 19, 2018
Our society has become so fluid on who is “rich” and who is “poor”. You may have dinner at someone’s home and think to yourself, “Wow, they must be so rich”. But, what if they put that lifestyle on the credit cards? Are they still rich? What if someone has a million dollars in the bank, but achieved it by living like a vagabond? When bringing this up to my fiancé, he said after much thought that a good indicator might be a person’s credit score. But who ever shares their information? And do you need your credit score for any other reason than to go into debt?
We tried to leave out “If anyone has any reason why this man and this woman should not be joined together, then let them speak now or forever hold their piece”, but the lawyer informed me that that was legally required for the officiant to say. Oh. Well then. If anyone has any reason why we should not be united, then let them speak now and just not get invited.
Something else untraditional we are doing- my dad is walking me down the aisle. Only he’s refusing to use his walking stick, so basically I’m walking him down the aisle. Then when the judge says, “who gives this woman to be married to this man?” It will be my mom who comes up, takes my hand, gives it to the judge, and then the judge will hand my hand to my fiancé. We’ll be ok joining the other hand on our own lol.
Also. Eek. My ex husband wants to attend, at least the adoption part. I think he wants to see for himself that it’s only me adopting his kids, not him adopting mine. It’ll be weird if he comes for the wedding part though. There is supposed to an hour interim between marriage and adoption, so hopefully he won’t. He doesn’t understand that Annalise can’t be adopted unless he signs his parental rights away. During the adoption, I’m only going to be before the judge with my stepkids. My fiancé and my daughter will be seated in the benches behind us. My lawyer will have already submitted the ungodly amount of paperwork to the court, and the judge will have already reviewed it. My lawyer will only give the names of my stepkids and say they are here petitioning to be adopted by their stepmother, and their dad and stepsister are here to join in that adoption. Then the judge will ask each child if they want to be adopted. He’ll give a short spiel on his findings and explain that my stepkids will have all rights and I will have all responsibilities as if they had been born of our union. Annalise will not be standing and will only be mention as their stepsister joining in the adoption. If her dad wants to oversee the legalities afterwards, then let him.
Thursday, January 18, 2018
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
I was a huge fan of The Cranberries in high school, and I still am. I was sad to hear of their lead vocalist's sudden and untimely death yesterday. She had the voice of an angel, and none will match her talent again. My fiance put this recording of her singing Ave Maria on repeat until I fell asleep last night.
Saturday, January 13, 2018
Friday, January 12, 2018
This June will be Annalise’s golden birthday. My maid of honor, my cousin Stephanie, decided on the perfect date for my shower in Chicago- Sunday, June 10th, with a huge birthday party for Annalise immediately following. I can’t think of a better surprise. It has been so hard to celebrate Annalise’s birthday ever since kindergarten, because her school district forbids the handing out of invitations. This makes me roll my eyes way back into my head. I was not invited to all parties when I was growing up, and I turned out fine. I have tried having birthday parties for her with my own friends who have kids, but it’s awkward since none of the kids know each other- just the parents. This will be different, because it will be a family party. There have been many ups and downs, but we realize that the downs happen for a reason, and we are thankful for all.
How we rang in 2018- long before bedtime. We had our new years kiss(es), but were probably asleep before midnight both Arizona and Houston time. I prefer it that way. I always say, if I ring in New Years at midnight, I'll have a bad year. This was our way of celebrating and satisfying my superstition. My fiance has an old friend who was killed on New Years Eve about 10 years ago, and to honor him, he always burns the Christmas tree with his parents in that pit. He did it this year, too, but as I said, I was asleep.
Thursday, January 11, 2018
Here’s a nice scene from the film:
Wednesday, January 10, 2018
What I don’t like is that after only 36 hours after giving birth, my old friend is getting a barrage of conflicting advice which is breastfeeding-pressuring. It’s disheartening. My friend has been stressed out in this pregnancy, and Maria Xanthi is in a billi lamp at the moment.
This is why I don’t want any more biological children. This is also why I am a huge proponent of
Monday, January 8, 2018
I just want to say my piece about this, because everyone is still talking about the #metoo movement. So basically, if you’ve experienced sexual assault, you put that hashtag on social media to raise awareness.
One day when I was about late teens or 20 years old, a guy from church somehow had me against the wall. He managed to get one arm around my left side with his hand on my rear end. His other arm was up against the wall and slowly lowering. I knew he wanted to rape me, and I thought fast I ducked under the arm he had against the wall and just ran. My home was some 7 miles away, and I ran almost the whole way home. I was about 110 pounds then, and he was very overweight, so there was no way he could keep up with me.
I ran so fast that I tripped and fell forward. I didn’t realize until I got home that my forearms were scraped and bleeding. I probably did stop running once I knew he was out of sight. The next day, I had whiplash in my neck from that fall, as if I’d been in a car accident. I was running that fast.
To the people I knew, I only said I’d been chased by a pit bull. He was a very important person in the church, and it was shortly before I left anyway. But when I told other women in some kind of group back then, they shamed me and thought I insinuated that all women could get away. Perhaps it’s because I kept describing “fight or flight” as a natural instinct to kick in. I never, ever, thought that every woman could escape rape. I was young and fit, whereas he was older and not fit at all. The position of his arm gave me a quick escape.
It’s because “I got away” that I didn’t do the “#metoo” thing, and I told some people why. They told me to still put it, because I was still “assaulted”. I still refused. I felt more “assaulted” by being told I must think every woman could do as I did.
Some people think too much in black and white.
Saturday, January 6, 2018
The app called TAKL lets you hire people independently to do various heavy chores that would be an epic fail if you did them yourself.
I have hired TAKL independent contractors some 9 or 10 times, for both my new house and my parents house. I used my own money- not his.
Also, if you are good at handy work or any of the “tasks” listed on the app, then this is a good side gig. The computer guy we got cleaned 5,000 viruses from my parents’ computer.
Also, we had more junk furniture than we could have imagined, and they hauled it away. None of us has time or patience (or eyesight) to assemble furniture, and they did that for us too. It’s a godsend.
Friday, January 5, 2018
While picking interim songs, I showed my fiancé this video:
George Clooney sure looks good rustic style, but pay no attention to the rodent on a stick. (Rodent kabob?).
My stepdaughter asked me, “are all those people marrying each other?” *facepalm, facepalm, facepalm*. I said no, sweetie, they’re getting baptized. She said, “what does that mean?”
I called for my fiancé and told him the whole story. First, she inadvertently asked a question that semi insinuates orgy, then she asked me what baptism was. I wasn’t sure how he ever wanted that explained to her.
He simply said, “You can tell her, you’re her mother.” She got overexcited and said, “I want to get baptized!” She said it over and over. If she still feels that way in a few months, my mom wants to be her godmother. I don’t know about that- I think my mom is too old.
We’ll just have to see. Annalise’s infant baptism at 12 months old was horrible. My fiancé and I are very much “coexist” people.